Woodchuckle: So Many Projects - Canadian Woodworking Magazine

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Woodchuckle: So Many Projects



Illustration by Mike Del Rizzo

Within the next two weeks, my dear wife will be heading off to the wilds of deepest, dark­est Manitoba to help our Number One Daughter deliver our Number Four Grand-kidlet. As anyone who knows me or has been reading this column well knows, I will quite likely take this heaven-sent opportunity to either com­plete some old neglected household projects or to start some entirely new ones. Often these projects work out well and my wife is delighted with the results ... or at least claims she is. She has always returned home so I must assume she’s fine with whatever I have done to “surprise” her. Since I have always worked this way, I suppose she probably isn’t all that surprised. Maybe I should surprise her by sitting on the couch for two weeks and just reading.

This time I don’t have all that much planned in the way of renovations, or even new projects. At least not yet. But I still have time to come up with some­thing special. But until I do I hope to make some headway on the completion of a few of her other projects we started several months ago. Just for fun, and to keep her on her toes, several months ago I carried all 64 cases of ceramic tile from storage in the garage and stacked them all neat and tidy in the new ensuite. She got all excited and actually thought I was going to begin work on it. Silly woman! After a while the stacks of tile mocking her every time she used the toilet got too much and she no longer uses that bath­room. Maybe I’ll surprise her and get that job finished for her return.

The problem is, the walk-through closet leading to the ensuite still doesn’t have the doors hung. That might be a good project to finish off, although there is that one crooked floor tile that really should be replaced before the doors go up. But the in-floor heating runs directly under that tile and I’d really hate to damage the wiring. I suppose I could shut the power off to that circuit if I could remember which breaker I used. Maybe I should finish rewiring the panel box too while I hunt down the correct breaker. I should also consider labelling the new electrical panel as I go.

I suppose I had better remove the old acoustic tile in the new bathroom and put up some drywall before I finish tiling the floor though. While I’m at it, I had better install an exhaust fan too. I can do that at the same time as I wire in the new light fixture we haven’t decided on yet. The naked bulb dangling from the bare wiring in the ceiling simply doesn’t lend that certain je-ne-sais-quoi we were search­ing for.

All this sounds like a lot of work. Maybe I’ll just finish painting the room and be done with it all. She already picked out a lovely colour that I would describe as orange. The woman who helped us choose it described it as some­thing called Tangerine Sunset Over the Moroccan Desert in Late Spring but Before the Solstice. Who comes up with these insipid names for paint colours, anyway? It was orange. That’s all it was. Just Orange!

Darn! I just remembered that the doors hiding the washer and dryer also need a bit of tweaking for them to close properly. I call it tweaking, she calls it purchasing. The problem there is that I had earlier installed a lovely little nook on the other side of the wall. The rear of the alcove now intrudes into the space that rightfully belongs to the dryer, which is exactly one and a half inches too high to fit under the alcove, causing the dryer to protrude into the doorway by a few inches, which means that any doors we might purchase won’t close all the way. I personally feel that a curtain would look nice. I have been overruled.

Sitting on the couch and reading for two weeks is looking better all the time.


DON WILKINSON
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